Saturday, January 7, 2012

Not so random thoughts

I come to this blog every day and check out the free pattern shown in the sidebar.  Every day I come and look I feel as if I should be posting something.  That without new posts blogs die.  They just do.

This is supposed to be my designing blog but I haven't been designing.  Don't get me wrong - I still have ideas, notebooks with doodles and diagrams, swatch patterns that have already been tested and are just waiting to turn into something.  And they've been waiting for me to turn my attention back to them.

I'm not one to post personal stuff on the internet.  I know a lot of people do but it's not MY thing.  Most of my readers know I had back surgery almost a year ago.  It's been a long and slow recovery.  Sitting like you would at your kitchen table is the absolute worst position for me to be in.  Standing comes in 2nd place at the pain awards. 

It's taken almost a year but I've finally reached the 4 hour mark.  At 4 hours I'm pretty much done for.  This includes sitting to drive, standing to walk, standing to rest while I'm walking, sitting to drive home, etc.  I can push it to 6 hours but them I'm in bed for a day or two and completely useless for much of anything.  Even 4 hours has me finished for the rest of the day.

You may be wondering what this has to do with designing.  Quite a bit actually.  In between running a home, trying to keep up with my teenage daughter, feeding my family and doctors appointments - I just don't have the intestinal fortitude to do much more.  I don't have the ability to do much more.

I've written a couple patterns but to tell the truth - pain brain does NOT make for writing easy to follow or well written patterns.  Pain brain saps the creativity right out of me.  Hell, pain brain can make it difficult to follow easy and well written patterns.  Those of you that either live in pain or have experienced it for a substantial length of time know exactly what I'm talking about.

I have a new design in a PIG (pattern in grocery bag) sitting next to my recliner (put a pillow under my knees and behind my head and I've found my comfy spot) and I can't bring myself to put it together and try to write it out because I've seen the mess I've made out of other patterns I've tried to write.

Now that the holidays are over (and we all know how much work those are) I'm hoping that life will slow down enough that I'll have enough time to sit (recline) and recover from all the over-doing it that I can actually get back to designing.  To writing out the ideas floating in my head.  To get back to creating new and wonderful things. 

I made 5 ghans for Christmas and as usual, I waited too long to get all of them started.  I haven't been crocheting much in the last week or so - my poor fingers needed the break.  I took pics so now I just need to put them up so I can share with you guys - my friends in yarn.

I'm not writing this as an excuse but I thought I owed you guys an explanation on why I seem to have stalled.  It's because I did.  And on that thought I'm going to close this blog post.  May we all have a healthy and prosperous new year.


Bailey said...

I have never been one to share much personally, but I do love reading about how people design, what they are working on, and crochet and other creative thoughts as much as the free designs they provide.

I have learned a great deal when people share their new discoveries, techniques, strategies, organizational stuff, etc. Sometimes it isn't new, other times it gives me a new way to think about stuff.

SusanD1408 Crochet Addict said...

Sorry to hear that you are having so many problems with your back. I have CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) and suffer a lot of pain in my joints, muscles etc so I can understand how you feel. There is nothing worse than the fog of pain. I hope you carry on getting better!

Michele Shirley said...

Thanx so much. CFS sux big time. I hope you'll be able to find some relief as well.

Anonymous said...

Knowing what you were going through, I knew not to expect a lot of posts on your blog as you needed time to heal. Definitely looking forward to seeing pictures of your blankets and your new designs once you have recovered and have the energy and painless days to do so.

Until that time, continue to just relax and rest up, let your body heal. We're still loyal readers who would rather wait to see a post than to know you're in a lot of pain trying to post.

Michele Shirley said...

oh, Shell - you're just awesome.

Karen said...

I know what you mean by having back surgery. I had the 1st one 2 years ago Jan 20, 2010. It was from T11 to S1 with rods. It did really good except for the bottom (L5 to S1). I am having surgery this next Tuesday to repair that and to take the rods out that were put in on the 1st surgery. At least this one won't be near as bad as the 1st one. The pain was horrible. Anyway you hang in there, you will get better as time goes. I am doing so much better than I did before I had surgery.
By the way I love your blog.

Michele Shirley said...


Wishing you the best through your own upcoming surgery.

Sew-Fun Creations said...

Love you post and your shop. Hope you feel better soon.

Michele Shirley said...

Thanx so much.

Little Orphan Skein said...

I have an award for you over at my blog, if you would like to accept. If you don't participate in blog awards, that's fine, I just wanted to show you my appreciation for your blog.

Michele Shirley said...

I have no idea how I missed your comment. Thank you soooooo much for thinking of me.