Saturday, January 7, 2012

Not so random thoughts

I come to this blog every day and check out the free pattern shown in the sidebar.  Every day I come and look I feel as if I should be posting something.  That without new posts blogs die.  They just do.

This is supposed to be my designing blog but I haven't been designing.  Don't get me wrong - I still have ideas, notebooks with doodles and diagrams, swatch patterns that have already been tested and are just waiting to turn into something.  And they've been waiting for me to turn my attention back to them.

I'm not one to post personal stuff on the internet.  I know a lot of people do but it's not MY thing.  Most of my readers know I had back surgery almost a year ago.  It's been a long and slow recovery.  Sitting like you would at your kitchen table is the absolute worst position for me to be in.  Standing comes in 2nd place at the pain awards. 

It's taken almost a year but I've finally reached the 4 hour mark.  At 4 hours I'm pretty much done for.  This includes sitting to drive, standing to walk, standing to rest while I'm walking, sitting to drive home, etc.  I can push it to 6 hours but them I'm in bed for a day or two and completely useless for much of anything.  Even 4 hours has me finished for the rest of the day.

You may be wondering what this has to do with designing.  Quite a bit actually.  In between running a home, trying to keep up with my teenage daughter, feeding my family and doctors appointments - I just don't have the intestinal fortitude to do much more.  I don't have the ability to do much more.

I've written a couple patterns but to tell the truth - pain brain does NOT make for writing easy to follow or well written patterns.  Pain brain saps the creativity right out of me.  Hell, pain brain can make it difficult to follow easy and well written patterns.  Those of you that either live in pain or have experienced it for a substantial length of time know exactly what I'm talking about.

I have a new design in a PIG (pattern in grocery bag) sitting next to my recliner (put a pillow under my knees and behind my head and I've found my comfy spot) and I can't bring myself to put it together and try to write it out because I've seen the mess I've made out of other patterns I've tried to write.

Now that the holidays are over (and we all know how much work those are) I'm hoping that life will slow down enough that I'll have enough time to sit (recline) and recover from all the over-doing it that I can actually get back to designing.  To writing out the ideas floating in my head.  To get back to creating new and wonderful things. 

I made 5 ghans for Christmas and as usual, I waited too long to get all of them started.  I haven't been crocheting much in the last week or so - my poor fingers needed the break.  I took pics so now I just need to put them up so I can share with you guys - my friends in yarn.

I'm not writing this as an excuse but I thought I owed you guys an explanation on why I seem to have stalled.  It's because I did.  And on that thought I'm going to close this blog post.  May we all have a healthy and prosperous new year.